Daily I try to find new ways to be renewed. I want to turn the negatives into positives while out living and running away from my past. I only want to hear about the good things and surround myself with the best of the best people. I have these superhuman expectations for a world that's not even capable of providing the essentials we need as humans to survive, Hyping up the superficial, while we are dying constantly by various shooting, education that fails us, the lack of water, food, and shelter supply, and the "need" to keep up with trendy features.
Recently, Kayne West goes on a Twitter rant to profuse his "love" for his craft and how he needs billionaires to fund him and his "amazing" art. He says he has the money to provide for his family but he doesn't have the money to produce the work that he would like to do. I wonder why that is though, it takes money to make money right? Any REAL entrepreneur or individual that really believes in their product wouldn't mind INVESTING their own money in order to make sure people get their product. Though, they may need help, millionaires reinvest their money. Am I right?
All that to say, we put so much expectations into this world and people thinking that they will see what we see within ourselves. Though from the looks of Kayne clothing line, there is a very good chance he will waste money and I am sure this is why he isn't getting backed by people. I think he is so caught up making sure people see his potential instead of investing into himself and letting people see him as an artist and wanting to be apart of his art.
For me, I use to want so bad for people to see the beautiful heart that I have, For people to understand that sometimes my reactions can be hurst and strong, irrational and not what you expect. Sometimes I say things I don't mean and I am not always myself. I have bad days, amazing days, and content days where I am either up or down. For so long I tried to convince people that I am either or and you have to accept me the way I am, but no one ever understood that. At 24 years old, my mother still doesn't understand that. I try to convince people that I am always black or white but NEVER gray! NEVER gray! There is no in between when it comes to me. I am not perfect or ever will I be, though I try hard to do everything perfectly
I would tell everyone that came into my life "Just rock with me and I would make you the happiest man in the world". In hopes that he would see my potential and not walk away from me. The friends I gained I would put up with so much disrespect and doing things I didn't want to do, in order to make sure I had "friends" to call. Only to realize none of those things mattered. I never needed a man nor do I need friends.
I need the grace and mercy of God.I know now that He will remove, replace, and increase relationships for me if he wants me to have them. I know that He is the head of my life and I trust Him to make all the decisions in my life. From the things I wear daily to the things and people I have in my life. I try to find new ways to be renewed in Him to make sure that I don't get consume by this world and the expectations it has for me but, to focus on His purpose for me.
So as of today, I will continue to be renewed daily!! I will find my purpose. All negatives will become positives and I will only speak of good things, have good thoughts, and be stress free. I will accept things for what they are and just pray on the things I don't accept. I will continue to not be perfect but I WILL be the best woman I can be. I will stay away from the expectations of this world and people and focus on the will of God. I am loving the Lord more then life itself in hopes that I can one day return to Him and pick His brain and heart to be just like Him. Though this is easier said then done, I am truly committed and enjoy every bit of love from my Father.
Who's with me? Lets love our better selves more and grow in God.
Be Blessed!!
