Just Figuring it Out

Hey. 😑 (I have an attitude... lol)

So Queens, I am literally on here every Wednesday promoting and encouraging y'all in the Lord. But can I complain today. Every week I make the cautious decision to get extremely quiet and sit at the feet of Christ, not just for myself but literally for all of you!! Though, I will NEVER EVER complain about helping people in their walk. It's just at times.....I simply don't feel like it! 

CATS OUT THE BAG!!!! 
It's something about reveal these cats I have in this imaginary bag that gives me life. "REVEAL THESE CATS Shay!!!" *swings royal sword*....this is me amping myself up to be honest with y'all. (😂😆😭) Hey, this is what I have come to. Just being completely real and honest with myself. I don't know about y'all but I use to lie sooo much too myself, like that time I was going through puberty and constantly called myself cute. When I should have been saying eventually I be cute, one day maybe.*pats 12 year old self on the head*. Though today with confidence, I can say she (I) has arrived!!! Yasssss *ghetto girl voice and hand claps*

Or what about that time, I use to say I loved drinking alcohol, had no explanation for  it was just what was expected from me, coming from the long line of alcohol abuse within my family. Owh, it was this other time when I thought I enjoyed smoking hookah but I HATED IT and my friends use to make me go EVERY WEEK, literally!! Like, this is one of the things that makes me feel sooooo stupid because what is the purpose of hookah? and why is it legal to sit in a room filled with a bunch of strangers and water smoke while smoking water? Things we will never know *ques twilight zone theme music* 
The thing is after a while I just stopped, so I just started going with zero expectation of smoking but all expectations to help pay...I know I am an amazing friend. Though, I don't get it (😹😹, this took myself out at water smoke) 

These are the things I now have to face up to and I'm okay with that because GOD!! *praise break* 
I guess y'all are wondering what do I actually have to complain about. LIFEEEEEEEE and the downs!! Makes you want to give up. This whole week I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe....it's not worth it. Honestly, I don't truly know what I mean when I say that I just said it. It's like I put so much into life at 25 years old is fruit being released from the seeds I have been planting? This is not about anyone else's journey or being somewhere I thought I would be at 25. It's just as simple as am I producing fruit in my life and for the people around me? Am I truly a reflection of Christ? and how can people tell I'm His when I walk into a room?

Lately, I have been so wrapped up in other things I haven't had the chance to consider the answer. I have been in a daze and placing people before myself. The other day, I exhausted myself because I wanted to make sure this individual was comfortable and had everything they needed. They were in a frenzy and overwhelmed, I played the "cool/collected" role and reassured them that everything was handled. While this person was frustrated and upset. I thanked God for the spirit of just "figuring it out".

Proverbs 14:29 says "He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly". Even though I may have some things I don't have figured out. I am just overly thankful for the patience God has granted me. My ability for self control has been the gateway to my understanding to life. Getting upset, only causes you to be upset. Your focus on how mad you are stops your ability to take action or it delays your reaction and can cause a irrational response. STAY FOCUSED!!

Proverbs 14:33 says "Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding, But what is in the heart of fools is made known." Patiences heightens understanding, which increases your wisdom. If I didn't have the spirit of patience nothing would be done right. If I didn't have understanding I would always need to know why I am doing something. If I didn't have wisdom I would question why all this makes sense.

Sis, I got so caught up in questioning my ability to produce fruit, I was missing the fruit God had been giving me to share. We must, especially myself, get out of the habit of thinking that our lives are ever going to be what we want rather than what God wants. In my mist of doubt and questioning God allowed me to minister to myself. I can get so overwhelmed when He speaks to me because it's so powerful but placing that on my heart to just be thankful for figuring it out blessed me. We have time to figure it out, God is not on a time stamp so however long it takes, it will take. 

Lets Us Pray:

Most High Heavenly Father, we thank You for the spirit of figuring it out. I pray that patience, understanding, and wisdom is install in all of Your children on today. I pray over increase of time and patience to go the course until You reveal. I pray that our eyes are focus on You, our feet are following You, and Your light shines bright in our dark journey. Allow no one to be distracted or discouraged Father and if so, You quickly intercede to release them from any hold. Father, we want to do all things for the Kingdom allow our frustrations to be casted at Your feet as we pursue all things with positivity. Let our response be yes before You even ask use to do anything. You get all the glory, honor, and praise. Let Your will be done! In Jesus name. Amen.

May you all be blessed!! I pray that God allows us all to increase our patience, wisdom, and understanding. As we seek the Kingdom and God, just allow things to be revealed about yourself. EMBRACE the change, gain, conviction, and heartbreak it's all in your ability to produce the fruit God is calling you to share.

Today meditate on Proverbs 14:29, 33. Write down your thoughts and pray. 
Meanwhile, check out me and other women of God guest blogs with the Eve Release ministry
http://www.theeverelease.com/blog/

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